It’s that time of the year again when there are about 3 weeks left til Valentines Day and social media is broadcasting the bitter AND the sweet. Posts that many can relate to which lead them to like, comment, and repost; mostly passing on the energy of “holding on” that so many have worked so hard to let go.
Yes, we are living in a time period where as much as we’d like to let go of things that no longer make us happy it is harder to put it in our past than by just deleting phone numbers. But, we are also living in a time where we’re more aware that our live’s are full of unnecessary clutter that we still choose to daily face. Many times we decide to “move on” from certain people but still associate with all its surroundings. From subtweets & subliminal statuses to IG photos & memes the problem isn’t what gets posted it’s by whom and how we come across them.
There are many reasons why we hold on to relationships whether they are based on friendship, business, or love. Many reasons that all derive from the fact that we simply don’t fully understand why we should walk away from them to begin with. It actually took me 25 years to understand the meaning of a relationship; a bond that’s further beyond a physical attraction or instant chemistry. I realized some of my friendships and love relationships were still standing because of how long it was already going on, how convenient it was, and/or how close to my other relationships they were. As much as we’ve heard this before a relationship IS based on support and trust from BOTH ends.
We all have or have had relationships that we wish were different. Relationships that constantly suck energy out of us and give us no fuel. We’ve held on to others who deserved better. We’ve maintained a friendship with someone who didn’t support us. Someone who only came around when they needed something. We’ve claimed to love people who don’t add value nor meaning to our lives. We constantly feel pressured to maintain relationships because we don’t want to build a new one and the older you get the less time you have so, it’s just easier to work with the one you have now. I’m at a point in my life where I’m walking away from negative relationships that I can live without. At the point where I have accepted that it’s OK to move on from people who aren’t assisting in my development. I mean because when will it be enough to let go? Why do you or the other person have to implode before the relationship explodes?
I began by observing how I felt when I was with certain “friends” and my lover at the time and realized a lot of times I only felt good because I made them feel good. Was that enough? Did I HAVE to maintain these relationship that I didn’t get anything out of or could I admit that I didn’t need or love them anymore and hug them goodbye? I daily say how much I’d like to be healthier but being healthy doesn’t just consist on the foods we eat. The relationships we choose to keep define who we are and I wasn’t happy with who I saw that I was becoming. I strongly believe that all relationships deserve a try, but that “try” involves communication. The awareness to your friend, lover, or acquaintance that something’s wrong, the changes you need, and an opportunity for them to voice their wants and needs from you. This simple conversation that is so easy to avoid doing may be the point where everything changes for the better; where you realize that this could work or there’s a mutual agreement for an ending.
In our younger years relationships were very light so we could handle plenty of them. The process of growing requires more effort from us. So, the relationships we keep aren’t just because they add value to our lives but because we also add value to it. The constant worry of other people’s feelings (like friends or family members of the one you’re having a relationship with) usually keeps us linked to the relationship we decide to let go. Why do we insist on holding on to the links? The links that only bring you back to the ended relationship that consumes energy and only prevents you from creating a greater one. I HAVE CHOSEN QUALITY.
At the end of the day I want to be full of relationships that make me whole and happy; even if it’s less than a handful of them.