As I’m observing the bright warm looking sun out my window I tried to hold my excitement since it’s still winter and snow is suppose to fall yet again tomorrow.  All of a sudden I craved lemonade, well not really “all of a sudden” since I’ve wanted some all weekend.  Cravings; I better NOT be pregnant.  I’ve minimally changed my lifestyle of buying things I can make myself so maybe I’ll just … make myself some lemonade. Now, is lemonade made with limes or lemons??  The cute little white girls on Pinterest have a jug of juice with sliced lemons outside their moms yard sale but my Peruvian mother definitely used limes. Fuck. Now I want to add some sprite and vodka like an old ex-friend of mine would do on summer days. But wait, it’s not summer and maybe-pregnant ladies shouldn’t drink.  I think I just need a taste of sweetness and sourness at the same time with a hint of bitter and a refreshing aftertaste.  Now that I mention it this is kind of where my life is right now. I’m in a sweet place where all my ideas and future planning are ready to be put into action.  There’s a sour spot where all these plans and thoughts may be delayed and/or put on hold because I’ve been offered a 9-5 with a pay I’d be stupid to pass up.  There’s a hint of bitterness where the least planned plan may come sooner than expected along with the reminder that I’m behind on where I intended to be at my age. But that refreshing aftertaste that everything is going to be ok makes my loss of appetite calming.  Now I want pineapples.

-B-